I woke up this afternoon afraid that I had let myself out of my cage.
Afraid that I fluttered away.
Trying hard, wishing hard that I would be gone in an instant.
Floating face down in a pile of bones and language barriers.
Sinking deep in international waters.
I lost something I never thought I’d care for or miss.
This thing, I probably won’t find again.
Maybe I don’t have to. It was pretend, after all.
I fucked myself for trusting much more than me and not me at all.
Senselessly stringing together shame, pity and desperation until it’s all washed away into the vapor covered mountains.
Using up chance after chance like a cat with no brain.
Even if all the money in the world fell flat on my face, I don’t think I could change
Failingly, even still, trying to fill my broken heart with nonstick tape.
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